I never joined a team sport in school, unless you count cheerleading. I tried many of them, but they were not for me, somehow. Why? I love being outside, I love moving my body, I value fitness and excellence and sportsmanship, and I love feeling fit. I just didn't enjoy them, what explains that? I stop myself when I start to think that its because I am not competitive, that is certainly poppycock; just ask anyone who has ever played a board game with me. You could also get into multiple intelligences, or kinetic intelligence more specifically; and the confidence (or lack there of) I have in my body's ability to perform according to standards other than my own. That would be getting warmer, for sure. I am certain there is more to it than that though, because I am an athlete, just not the same sort as many of my dear friends and family.
I am now at 28 becoming a runner. Not a marathon runner or a speed runner. Just a runner. I put my running clothes on, I open the door and I go. For a little over a half hour, one or more times per week, I run. Or walk a bit, or jog. I breathe, my heart beats and gets stronger. I enjoy the rain, the sun, the wind, and the fresh air. I have to keep my ears and hands warm. I recognize that when I eat or drink anything half an hour or less before I go, I get a side stitch and have to walk. I know which of my pants fall off me more with each step, and which stay put. I crave my run. If it has been a few days, I observe my patience growing thinner until I can make it out again to recharge.
I started really small. I thought to myself, "I could run to that stop sign ahead" and I did it. Then I walked until I found my breath a bit and chose a new thing to run to. When I was consistently succeeding at those little steps, I began to push harder. "I am tired, I am out of breath, but I am getting stronger and I know I can make it to the red car up ahead if I really try." I got myself to the point after a couple months of three or four runs a week to go for a half hour with three or four short walking rests, and then after another month or so I was able to run continuously with no stops or rests beyond waiting for the one traffic light on my route. Then I started sprinting at the end where the route is slightly downhill. Just now and then, not every time.
The continuous run with a sprint at the end is not where the real learning or sense of accomplishment came for me, satisfying though it was. That came later. When my circumstances limited me to one run or less per week. All the hard work wore off. I began to feel tired again when I went out, and stopped running continuously. I still managed to keep going now and then, and started to look for more creative ways to get more runs in. I have gradually made arrangements to that effect, and continue to look for more opportunities to get another run in here or there. Now I am at two runs per week, with one or more walking rest breaking the continuity. I have now been running regularly for just more than a year.
Where the real learning came in for me was when I allowed myself to have a bad run and still feel good about it, and still want to do it again. If I got a side stitch or was too hungry or tired and I walked or jogged, it really wasn't much of a run. I still felt good about at least getting out and giving it a try. Sometimes I forgot my headband and my ears were so cold I would have to hold my hands over them the whole time, but at least I was out there. I think most of my success comes from accepting that my motivation was and is not to be a fast runner or a high endurance runner, it is primarily fitness. In university I completed a first year nutrition and fitness class that has oddly stayed with me. I remember cardiovascular fitness being regarded as raising your heart rate and sustaining it for twenty to forty minutes three to five times a week. I am going to further define my experience and other simply achievable, sustained efforts at pure fitness; distinct from sports excellence; as Moderate Athleticism.
As a Moderate Athlete, I keep active, I try to get at least the minimum for fitness where and when I can in my busy life. I don't worry about losing ground when I need to take a bit of a break. I use other ways of getting exercise when I cannot fit in my primary activity (i.e. swimming or hiking or rock climbing instead of running). As a Moderate Athlete, I don't do any training for anything, just regular steady sessions with incremental progress, if any. As a Moderate Athlete I start really small and build on success. As a Moderate Athlete I am pragmatic about my available time for exercise, but I don't forget to do it. As a Moderate Athlete I follow my own standards, benchmarks, etc. and no one else's. I am experience oriented instead of goal oriented, though I may have goals. As a Moderate Athlete I choose an activity that I really enjoy and look forward to, and I constantly refer back to my own experience to determine when to take it slow and when to push a bit. I allow myself to succeed in my own terms.
When I run I breathe and my heart thumps and I meditate on my life, I come up with blog ideas, I have to step around ducks and then I find myself wishing for a momentary breathtaking view of the Olympic Mountains when the weather permits it. I know that is the furthest I will get towards earning anything Olympic myself. I am not only alright with that, I cherish it. I earn that view for a moment as I round the bend and then it is gone. Then I take another chance at it in a few days. It is a small accomplishment, it is one of those small things that, to me, make the world go around.
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